Book Three_A Codependent Love Story Read online

“Sorry dude... Just trying to be a friend. Rumors you know?” One of them said.

  “Yeah sorry... We’re going to get some senior girls. Later,” the other player said.

  “You two are seniors. Too easy. Go find some college girls,” Brendan yelled out as they walked away.

  “This is going to be fun. You have any problems send them my way. I’m going to be a fucking lawyer,” Brendan said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

  “I don’t think I’ll have any problems anymore,” touched by his defense I instigated the fist bump for the first and last time in my life. “Thanks. You too, Danny.”

  “You know what, Serge? I’m not kidding. This whole school needs a mandatory gender studies class. What is wrong with everyone?” He shook his head in disappointment.

  “Serge, you have to stop saying she was a freshman blowjob girl. You make it sound like she was at the lunch counter giving out oral instead of pizza. Deny everything. Those seniors graduated last year. I never hear anything about her anymore. She couldn’t have been that bad,” Brendan said as he tied his shoes.

  “Everything’s going to be okay,” he stood up and patted Danny’s shoulder. “You’re the protector dude. She’s going to be okay. You don’t need to change the curriculum.”

  I looked at Danny as Brendan walked out of the locker room. I was surprised but felt pretty good about him opening up to Brendan about what had happened to Zelda. I hadn’t considered it a secret the way he and Carolina did, but more Zelda’s story to tell, not ours.

  What I saw in the face of my friend sitting next to me was guilt and anger. His eyes were almost shut. His face was tight and his shoulders slumped. I could feel the pain radiating off of him.

  I was suddenly angry with myself. All of my internal moping about how bad my year had been, my obsession with Marianne. I had lost sight of my friend and what he had been going through. Taking on Zelda the way he did, assuming all the responsibility for her healing. It was clearly a labor of love for him, but where was his support?

  “I’m here for you,” I put my arm around in him the manliest way I could but it still felt awkward, “You can count on me.”

  “Real friends, buddy,” he smiled his friendly smile. “Let’s go. She’s waiting outside.”

  I took him on in my mind as we left the locker room.

  BOOK TWO

  Chapter Six

  I rushed across the Harvard Bridge to meet Danny, Zelda and a few of their friends for Thanksgiving dinner. It was the senior year for most of us and any homesickness we may have felt had been dealt with years before. It was an easy decision for our ragtag group of students to stay in Boston for the short holiday. I stopped at the center of the bridge and looked out over the city to get my bearings. I hadn't been outside in days.

  The afternoon was chilly, very grey and the heavy snow clouds obscured my view of MIT. I questioned my decision to walk but carried on ahead, checking the Smoot markings to monitor my progress. I was already twenty minutes late. I pulled down the fold of my knit cap and ran in a deliberate way, careful not to slip on the icy sidewalks. Once off the bridge, I continued down Boylston St. and cut through the park.

  My heart pounded, affected by the sharp change of temperature from the cold outside and the heated hotel lobby. I caught myself from falling on the marble entryway and laughed at Zelda’s formal choice of restaurant. Danny could cook like no one else our age. I was sure he would have preferred to have the dinner at their apartment, but he wasn’t big on saying no to his luxury seeking Zelda.

  I caught my breath and slowed my pace as I entered the restaurant. My eyes settled on the most beautiful Zelda in the seat next to Danny. His arm was around her. She was turned away from him and speaking to a girl whose name I thought was Laurel.

  “Serge,” Veronica stood up surprising me. “Sit down next to me.” She patted the back of the dark leather armchair. “I saved you a seat.”

  “I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I sat down and kissed her on the cheek.

  “My mother is in South Africa, and I’m not quite sure where my father is right now... I missed Zelda, and I’m so bored with New York. And I missed you. Maybe I’ll transfer to MIT, and we can spend all our time together.” She curled up onto me in a way that looked like she was mimicking Zelda and Danny.

  “Serge, buddy, late all the time,” Danny yelled out. “If it wasn’t for our game, I wouldn’t ever see you. How’s the Universe? See the lights yet?”

  “Serge,” Zelda elongated the "R” in my name. It sounded like a lullaby to me. She turned back to her conversation with Laurel and pulled Danny’s arm tightly around her as if she were cold.

  “No lights yet, almost there.” I felt awkward. I hadn’t had a casual conversation in what felt like days. The lights as he called them were my obsession. I loosened Veronica’s grip on me. “Is the game on this week? The snow should be deep by Tuesday.”

  We played soccer with a group of students from Los Angeles on Tuesday afternoons. All the Universities were represented, even a couple of kids from Zelda’s “artsy” school, Emerson College. The games usually attracted twenty to twenty-five players, and we played on the BU campus.

  “We do have a weak bunch when the weather gets bad. Bring Arturo and his crew of South Americans. They’re hard-core like us.” He yelled over the noise of our table.

  “Why are you ignoring me, Serge?” Veronica whispered in my ear bothering me, reminding me of the way Zelda and I had always whispered to each other when we were kids.

  “Cold out. I need some tea to wake-up. Green tea.” I made eye contact with the waiter and ordered myself a pot.

  “Zelda,” I wanted to speak to her, but couldn’t think of anything to say. It was as if she were a stranger. I knew about her day-to-day life from Danny but barely spent time with her. I would put her off when she would text me and try to include me in the things she did.

  “You look pretty,” I managed to say as the waiter brought my tea and placed the dinner of turkey and pureed potatoes in front of me.

  “Pretty?” She shook her head and laughed lightly. “You know you could just say that you miss me.” She turned back to Laurel.

  “I miss you, Zelda.” I whispered across the table.

  “If you miss her, and she’s only across the river from you, how happy you must be to see me.” Veronica took my chin in her hand, again in the way I would always do to Zelda when we were kids.

  “Nobody pesters me the way that you do.” I took her hand off my chin and placed it on my lap with a gentle pat. “I haven’t eaten since this morning. Tell me all about New York.” I flicked her nose. “I missed you too.” I hadn’t thought about her once since seeing her briefly over the summer but looking at her, I thought I had missed her.

  She spoke more about nightclubs and shopping than NYU. I looked to Zelda who was still talking to Laurel. I wanted to interrupt their conversation, talk to her, but she seemed a million miles away.

  “You’re not paying attention to me.” Veronica took the fork of turkey from my hand.

  “I’m right next to you, but when I’m talking to anyone else you’re on mind. I’m always thinking about you. Why is that Danny?” Zelda asked as she turned away from Laurel and put her head on his shoulder.

  “Same baby. I’m just better at hiding it than you.” Danny replied to her at the same moment that our crowded, loud table quieted.

  “They’re so cute," Veronica curled up on to me in the way Zelda had curled up onto Danny, but she added a discrete extra touch by putting her hand down my pants.

  “That’s a world class hand job you’re giving me. I haven’t had one since high school.” I was torn between removing her hand or letting her continue with the gentle motion.

  “High five, buddy.” Danny must have had bionic hearing because I had definitely said that in a very low voice, and Zelda hadn’t noticed.

  “Come upstairs with me after dinner.” She whispered in my ear, and it didn’t annoy me an
ymore.

  “Are you serious about this?” I took her hand out of my pants and held it firmly in mine.

  “I’ve always been serious.”

  “I have a girlfriend at home.”

  “Marianne? Zelda says that’s not true. You love me, Serge.”

  “I would imagine she would say that. We see each other on the breaks, and that’s the way it is.” Zelda liked to pretend that Marianne didn’t exist. Carolina was the same, though she had warmed over the years. “I’ll take you upstairs but take “love” out of your vocabulary. You won’t be able to walk when I’m done with you.”

  “I won’t be able to walk?” She said a little too loudly. Zelda and a few others looked our way, “I’ll make it so you have to crawl back to your dorm room in the morning.” She whispered and glanced worriedly in Zelda’s direction.

  “You think you can dominate me? Good luck. I’m a prime athlete.” I don’t know if it was because I had locked myself in the lab for far too long or the beauty of Veronica, but I was into her in a way I could never have imagined before.

  “Leave five minutes after me. Room 509. Don’t talk to me anymore.” She turned away and spoke to a friend of Danny’s on the other side of her.

  I went back to eating my dinner that had turned cold. The never-ending dinner continued to be never-ending as Zelda ordered dozens of desserts for the table and insisted everyone try a bite of each. Her skin looked like she existed solely on a diet of cream and berries. I never understood how she kept her fresh-faced look with her heavy sugar intake.

  “I’m tired let’s go home," Zelda said to Danny with a glisten on her lips leftover from her peach crumble.

  “Waiting for the check beauty. Bruce got a new car. I’m going to go for a drive with him after dropping you off. Good for you?” He turned to me, “You need a ride back? He’s got a Porsche. The roads are empty.”

  “They put it on my bill when I made the reservation. That will be perfect. I have to finish one of the bodysuits before bed, and you always distract me.” She ran her hand across his face because it had maybe been thirty seconds since the last time she touched him.

  “I’m going to walk back. I need the fresh air. I’ll see you Tuesday.” Nothing was getting in the way of my “date” with Veronica who hadn’t glanced my way since we had made our arrangement.

  “You have a tab here Zelda?” Even with having known her so well that bit of information surprised me, “It wasn’t necessary, but thanks for dinner rich girl.”

  “Thanks Zizi. I’ll see you at noon. I booked us a full spa day. Good night, everybody.” Veronica stood up to leave. I watched her tall and curvy figure teeter away on her high heels. The girls at MIT preferred flats. I didn’t want to wait the five minutes to follow her up to the room.

  “Baby, everybody here was expecting to pay. You can’t do things like this.” Danny interrupted and turned to me. “She uses the spa and has breakfast here on Thursday mornings when I have an early class. Go with her sometime. They bow down to her.”

  “I never have anything to spend it on. It keeps growing and growing. It’s a holiday. I won’t do it again.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, kissing his ear. I looked away.

  “Let it grow. Pass it on to the kids.” And then, they were kissing. I wanted to applaud them for holding out for so long.

  “Good night.” I stood up.

  “Wait up, we’ll walk out with you." He unraveled himself from her and stood, ruining my quick exit to the elevator. I looked out the window, and he followed my gaze to see the falling snow. “You sure you don’t want a ride?”

  “A little snow will wake me up. Neutrino paper when I get back to my dorm.” Zelda stood and smoothed her orange plaid skirt. She had thrown away her uniform and oversized men’s shirts and leggings her first week in Boston. She decided college girls should dress as if they were still in the fifties. I don’t know where she found all the sweater sets and pencil skirts but she couldn’t have been cuter in her outfit and pretend eyeglasses.

  I wondered why Veronica and I were being so secretive as we said our good-byes in the lobby. I walked towards the Commons and checked back over my shoulder to see if they had dispersed enough for me to make my return. Every glance back I saw Zelda staring after me as Danny and Bruce stood in front of his new car talking.

  I turned around by the frozen over Frog Pond and ran back, freezing through the park. I didn't care if they were still standing in front of the hotel. They weren’t. I shook the snow off and went straight into the sundry shop to buy a box of condoms. I carried one in my wallet at all times, but one wouldn’t be enough if all went well with the temptress upstairs. I bought a pack of twelve and headed up to her room.

  She opened the door before I had a chance to knock as if she had been standing at the peephole waiting for me. She was basically nude in her filmy black-tiered short nightgown with a big red bow that obscured her breasts.

  “That’s coming off, and put your shoes back on now,” I ordered and closed the door behind me. Marianne had cured me of my need to dominate sexually but knowing Veronica the way I did with her own need to control, I put it back into play.

  “Is this how we’re going to do it, Serge?" she laughed and pulled the nightgown over her head to reveal a perfection I had only ever imagined Zelda held.

  “Yes. You think it’s funny to give me an erection at a Thanksgiving dinner? Hand job? You need an old-fashioned finger banging, and then I’m going to fuck you against the sink in the bathroom. Come here.” I thought of Celena, and how we had always treated sex as an endurance race.

  “I’m going to like this, but one thing, you say “fuck” to me one more time I’m going to kick you out of my room.”

  “Fair enough. I’m going to violate you. Come here.” I wanted to apologize, but it would have destroyed the mood I was trying to create.

  She slipped on her heels and ran to a still fully dressed me. I grabbed her and kissed her deeply, her full breasts against my chest and slipped my fingers into her folds. She moaned and threw her head back.

  “You’re ready to go. Bathroom now.” I led her into the bathroom that was exactly how I imagined it, large with hard marble surfaces and mirrors everywhere.

  “Aren’t you going to take off your clothes?” She asked as I pushed her up against the sink her back to me, kissing her neck.

  “Later. I want you to look in the mirror so you can see how much you love it when I “take you” from behind.” I unzipped my pants, pulled my cock out and rolled the condom on. “You’re the perfect height. I love tall girls. Look at your tits.” I reached around squeezing her, the blush color of her nipples arousing me even more.

  “Tits too, not a word I like. I won’t kick you out for it, but...” She moaned again as I rubbed her bump making her pooch her bottom out just enough.

  “I love your breasts.” I entered her, calming myself down, “Everything about you. I’ve never seen anything like you before. You’re perfect.” I slowed down, forcing her to meet me in the middle. Her round bottom meeting my groin as exciting to watch as what I was physically feeling. “Your hair, it’s like spun gold...” I took the back of it pulling her head up so that she could see her expression, “Look at your face... you’re loving this.” Her face had a glow with her mouth slightly open, and her eyes wide staring at our reflection.

  “You keep saying love...”

  “I love that you’re breathing hard.” I sped up still holding her hair back. “I’m going to come, and then I’ll take you to the bed and go down on you for hours with your long legs that I love wrapped around my neck.”

  “Do you always talk this way? Can I say that I love it, or is that only a word you can use?”

  “Are you studying to be an English teacher?” I rammed into her coming hard, let go of her hair, and turned her around to kiss her.

  “Communications... My legs are trembling.”

  “Beyond legs, you’re a genetic masterpiece.” I pulled off m
y condom and threw it into the trashcan, zipped up my pants, and took off my sweater because I had begun to sweat. “Infinite ways for a body to evolve. Look at your perfection.” I got down on my knees and ran my mouth around her pubic bone while rubbing her legs that were in fact trembling and stood up to kiss her again.

  “I can’t keep it light if you’re going to speak to me like this. I’m dizzy. My whole life...” Her eyes looked teary.

  “Shhhh,” I took her hand and led the overly emotional Veronica to her bed and thought maybe I had gone overboard in my desire to conquer her. “You’re very messy, and you packed too much for a long weekend.” I hadn’t noticed before but she had two very large suitcases open on the floor with dresses, shoes and beauty products spilling out onto the floor. “When are you going back?”

  “Sunday morning, but I could stay longer.”