A Girl's Story Read online

  Isabella would come over and we would hangout. She was up for anything. Playing Lacrosse in the street, swimming, video games. My friends loved her. She was a dude at heart. We had sex, not a lot but sometimes. My parents didn’t like her at first with the magenta hair and the tattered clothes, bra always showing. They accepted her after a while. She made them laugh. Isabella was a quick girl.

  We were out on the street playing soccer and Zelda walked by. She was alone. We watched stunned. It was a hot summer day, but she wore layers of short black cotton and wool dresses with tall black suede boots, chunky jewelry. I didn’t know what to call this new style. I was just happy it was short unlike her Victorian phase.

  “Hey Zelda” Isabella called out to her. I didn’t think she would hear and if she did I thought she would just do her royal arm wave she liked so much. She turned around. She was looking in my direction but her eyes were only on Isabella. How did she do that? Such big eyes, such a narrow range of vision.

  “Hello Isabella. What are you doing up here?” Her voice, that was her voice. I was disappointed that it wasn’t a song from heaven. Yes I had blown her up in my mind. She did speak very clearly which surprised me. I had expected at the very least a dreamy quality to her timber. Clipped, Serge had been right, she spoke in the way Carolina did. I wasn’t being fair, her voice was girlish and I could have listened to it for the rest of my life.

  “Soccer with Danny Boy here. You want to play?” She would look at me now. Isabella pointed me out. She did her arm wave, eyes on Isabella.

  “Maybe some other time. I’m on a candy run. See you back at school. Bye.” She walked away. That was it. Zelda walked away. I thought of that corny old Catskill joke my dad always said about my mom. I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave. The sashay of her hips in those teetering tall boots shifted the bottom of her short dresses. I hoped to get another look at her panties. No wind that day. Still I had the steel in my pants.

  “You’re lucky she went with the 70s groupie look. She couldn’t decide between that and 80s style Pat Benatar. She got you going.” Isabella looked down at my bulge.

  “Groupie? Who’s Pat Benatar?” I asked, ignoring the last part of her statement.

  “Didn’t I tell you that day at the coffee shop? Your girl likes her lists. She had a detailed spreadsheet of her past and future fashion influences. She was in that white phase when I saw it. She seemed to be struggling with groupie vs. 80s. Pat Benatar is some old singer, she wore a lot of stripes.”

  “Girls like lists.” My mom would kill me for making such a generalization.

  “Danny I’m not kidding when I said she was struggling with that decision. She had scribbled pros and cons notes all over her little drawings. There’s not much going on in that head of hers.”

  “You’re wrong. I’ve been watching her forever.” Well that was out there now.

  “Oh Danny. The cult of Zelda is usually just the boys that think of themselves as artists or musicians. You’re really more of a Veronica boy. She attracts the type A athletes. Come on let’s go inside.”

  Her boyfriend came back into in town and our relationship changed to text based. That was good. I had fallen behind on two online classes I was taking. I spent the rest of the summer inside finishing it up. I was too busy with the schoolwork to let my mind go to my girl up the road. Yes that is how I thought of her at that point.

  …

  Summer over, school started. I had to change my schedule the first day back. They had put me in Spanish 3 instead of Spanish 4. Carolina and one of her drama buddies were standing in line in front of me. Bored in the long line I leaned in to eavesdrop.

  “She wants to go down to The Whiskey for her birthday on Friday. Have you ever been? Our parents will ground us for the rest of our lives if we get caught. I’m going to try to talk her out of it.”

  Her birthday? Friday night? The Whiskey? Perfect, I would be there. No bad plan, I’m in the end zone now, need more strategy. It would be noisy in the club. I wouldn’t be able to talk to her. Go big or go home, I tapped Carolina on the shoulder.

  “Hey Carolina. I’m having a big party Friday night. You should come by with your friends, 8:00 my house.”

  “How convenient, what are you celebrating Danny?” Why did she always make this so difficult?

  “Back to school.”

  “That doesn’t seem worthy of celebration. Are you sure it’s not something else?”

  “Nope just back to school.”

  “We’ll stop by. I don’t think we’ll be able to stay long. She’s been wanting to go to The Whiskey forever now.”

  “Who?” I asked trying to play it cool.

  “My friend Patty Perkins. That’s who you want there right?” She rolled her eyes.

  “Funny... Thank you Carolina.” She smiled and turned back around to talk to her friend.

  I had three days to set it up. I called my parents at nutrition and told them my plan. I got lucky. They were into it and gave me a big budget. Good I would fill the house with deserts. I would get a DJ to play her disco music. That’s all I knew about her. It was enough to get the party started. It crossed my mind to wear something tough for her. I put that idea aside. I would win as myself. I never lost. Easy.

  Chapter Two

  I had been having dinner at Carolina’s house every Sunday night for what felt like my whole life. It never got any better. Carolina’s mother drunk at the table, her anger directed at Carolina, sometimes me, but never at Serge. Everyone loved Serge.

  It was hard for me. I tried so hard to keep up a front over the years. My shyness had always being such a drag on my life. My efforts at focusing and interacting would be knocked off by their family dynamic. The worst part of the dinners was Mrs. Richmond attacking Carolina. I wanted to jump in and defend her but I never knew what they were talking about. I did know that Serge’s brain was working towards a cleverness that would defuse the situation.

  That night they seemed to be arguing about Shakespeare. Good, I thought. I had a few lines from one of his sonnets memorized just in case this recurring argument came up.

  “Zelda what do you think?” her mother asked me, “Were the works written by Shakespeare or perhaps Christopher Marlowe?” I wondered if she really thought I had an opinion.

  I knew it wasn't the answer she was looking for, but I recited the first few lines of my favorite sonnet anyway. Serge laughed and whispered in my ear, "I'm glad you came prepared".

  “Mom, Shakespeare was written by Shakespeare. Conspiracy Theories are beneath you.” Carolina yelled.

  Both of them spoke so quickly after that, I couldn’t keep up.

  “The simplest explanation is usually the true explanation. Shakespeare was Shakespeare.” Serge stood up and turned to Carolina, “I’m going to walk Zelda home. Can you clean up? I’ll do it tomorrow night okay?” Mrs. Richmond laughed because everything Serge said was perfect and everything Carolina said was worthless.

  “Happy Birthday Zelda.” Mrs. Richmond held up her glass “Here’s hoping that this year gives you a stronger life of the mind.”

  Carolina looked at her mother as if she were going to yell at her again, but shook her head instead. Her father said nothing as usual.

  “I’m going to clean up and take a shower. I’ll be over in an hour.” Carolina jerked her chair backwards and picked up the glasses on the table with a force I worried would shatter them.

  “Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.” I said in as loud a voice as possible but it came out as a whisper.

  Serge walked me towards the door and then told me to wait a minute. He ran upstairs to his room and came back with a gift-wrapped package. I opened it as we walked out the door. The gift was a pile of vintage romance paperbacks from the fifties.

  “Thank you Serge. I love them. Where do you find these things?"

  “Around town, thrift shops mostly. Happy Birthday Zelda.”

  I linked my arm through his as we walked towards my home.
>
  “Who’s the smartest person you know?” He asked me.

  “That would be you Serge.” He was dark and athletic where Carolina was light and tiny. He seemed a little nerdy to me. Carolina told me all the girls at their school loved him and thought he was gorgeous. I couldn’t see it.

  “You’re right Zelda. I am the smartest person you know.” We stopped walking, and he turned to face me. “That’s why you’re not going to listen to anyone else, not even my mother. I’m the only who can tell you if you’re being silly, okay? I say this to Carolina all the time but she doesn’t listen, but you hear me right?”

  I laughed. He was so funny.

  “Yes, you’re the only one I’ll listen too about my... inequities.”

  “Excellent word choice Zelda. You read what ever you want. All the pulp and romance you love okay? You don’t have to memorize passages from books. You can’t win with her.” He glanced down at the ground and back up again.

  “I like real books too. Madame Bovary, Jane Eyre...I have a 4.0 GPA” We started walking again.

  “I know. What’s your plan for the night birthday girl?”

  “I don’t know if I can tell you.”

  “Didn’t we just go over this?” He asked making me laugh again.

  “Okay. I don’t want to get Carolina and myself into trouble though. Carolina wants to go to a party down the road, I think it’s that boy who’s always playing ball games in the street, but who cares about that... Then we’re going to The Whiskey.” I jumped up and down. I had always wanted to go to a nightclub and dance around without having to speak to anyone.

  “The boy who plays ball games in the streets?” He laughed, which was nice because I wasn’t that funny most of the time although I always tried to be. “His name is Danny.”

  “Yes, that’s his name.” What was so funny? “We’re going to dance all night in a real nightclub.” I jumped up and down again.

  “I’ll see you at the party. Take a cab home. I don’t want you and my sister walking home late at night.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and turned to walk back to his house.

  …

  I passed through the kitchen on the way to my bedroom, opened the refrigerator and took a bottle of Champagne. I hid it under my coat and ran to my room. The night would be a celebration of many firsts.

  The year would be a good one, I promised myself. No more long silences, no more staring off into the distance, no more strange words coming out of my mouth. I thought that every year, but that night I knew it would be true.

  Carolina came over as I was blow-drying my hair. She wore a plain knee length black dress to trick her parents. She lived out of my closet, she always had. We liked it better that way. Her parents weren’t fans of our fashions.

  “I’m wearing a short black dress, I don’t know which one yet but I want to show off my boots.” My hair dry, I laid the dryer on my vanity. “Wear the flapper dress. I like that style on you best and it’s my birthday so my rules.” I planned to take full advantage of the one day a year I could get away with it.

  She opened the door to my closet and pulled the dresses away from each other, looking for the perfect one. My closet was overstuffed. I cleaned it out all the time, storing my older things in the garage in carefully inventoried boxes, my stacks growing taller and taller. I had thought of curbing my shopping or putting the boxed clothes in a storage facility. Even with giving things to Carolina it was too much.

  My father encouraged my collecting, saying there was value in it. He told me I would have a history of fashion to pass onto my children one day. I couldn’t imagine having kids. I thought maybe my collections made his work more valuable to him. He had a clothing company, some of his designs were knock-offs of the outfits my mother and I wore. He didn’t like when we wore his clothing from his line.

  “I think I’ll wear this one.” She held up a drop-waist black sequin dress with a white ermine hem. I worried it would be too long on her before remembering I was much taller than her and it was so short on me to begin with, the dress would fall to her knees as designed.

  “Perfect. Let me do your hair. I’ll wrap the bottom up to tame your waves.” I reached under my bed and lifted up the bottle of Champagne over my head. “Look what I have.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. What if you’re parents come in? Or worse Anthony?” I never understood why Carolina and my brother didn’t get along.

  “Come on, it’s my birthday. We are risking a lifetime of grounding by going out to a nightclub. Let’s go out in a blast of glory.” I replied.

  “Blaze” She corrected me for the millionth time in my life.

  “Blaze?” I asked.

  “You said blast, you meant blaze.”

  “No correcting me. It’s my birthday.” She was always so tense after her family dinners.

  “No more correcting…” she laughed, “I won’t mention that “no correcting me” violates several rules of grammar.” She smiled, relaxing, “All right birthday girl, my hair is yours. Do what you like with it.” She sat down on the white-patented leather stool in front of my vanity.

  “I love you Zelda. Happy birthday number 15."

  I didn’t reply to her; emotional words would catch in my throat. She knew that but would still speak to me that way sometimes.

  “Okay. Do you have Champagne glasses?” She gave up on a response from me and asked.

  “I have water glasses. We only have a two dozen Champagne flutes and they would notice if some were missing from the kitchen.” I went into my bathroom and brought back four cups. “Do we need the Champagne glasses? It works without it, right?” I sensed this was a stupid question.

  “You’re so funny. Of course it works. Here let me open it. There’s a trick to it” She took the bottle from the vanity and held it away from her. “You need to hold it away from you. The pressure can make it explode.” She twisted the top and then stopped.

  “You didn’t shake it? Did you?” She asked.

  “No” I said unsure if that were the truth.

  “Okay. It can make a big noise and splash out if it’s been shaken.”

  “I didn’t shake it.” I really hoped I hadn’t shaken it.

  She pulled the top off. A popping sound filled the room and drops of the golden liquid spilled onto the floor. I clapped my hands, marveling at the beauty of the shooting foam.

  “Perfect Carolina.” I wished I had taken the flutes as she poured the champagne into the boring little glasses.

  I reluctantly took the cup from her, suddenly worried. Maybe it was a mistake. Carolina’s mother was the only drinker I knew, and she was a drunk. Would I end up like her?

  “Actually let’s wait until Veronica and Theodora get here.” I put the glass down.

  “I’m drinking mine now. Cheers Zelda.” She held the glass up to her lips and emptied half of it into her mouth. It wasn’t elegant in the way I imagined it. She refilled her cup.

  “Are you drunk? Are you seeing things?” I asked after she swallowed.

  “It’s not like that. You don’t see anything. You’re thinking of LSD. My Mom...” She sat back down on the stool.

  My bedroom door opened without a knock. My brother stood next to Veronica and Theodora. I jumped in front of my vanity to hide the Champagne bottle and glasses.

  “Yeah, you’re here. Oh my God. What are you wearing? Beautiful. Carolina and I are still getting dressed. Thanks Anthony you can go back to your movie.”

  “What are you doing to Carolina’s hair? It looks weird.” He tried to see past my blocking of the vanity.

  “That’s because I’m not done. Go away now. We have to get ready” I waved him away.

  “My movie’s boring. I have no one to play with. Robbie has the flu.”

  Theodora looked past Carolina and saw the Champagne on the table and nodded her head.

  “Anthony can we play with you tomorrow? We’re in a big rush to get ready for the party.” She had flirtatious look in her eyes o
nly she could pull off. She ran her fingers through his hair.

  It worked. Anthony smiled. You could almost see hearts popping from his eyes

  “Okay. Can I make you girls breakfast in the morning? Can we play Crazy Eights?” He asked all of us but only looked at Theodora.

  “Yes and yes. Anthony, be a love and let us get ready.” Veronica said with a wave of her hand.

  “Your hair looks pretty Zelda.” He said.

  “Thank you.” I walked across the room and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek while gently pushing him out and securely closing the door.

  “Happy Birthday.” They took me into a big hug and handed me my gifts.

  “Thanks. I’m so excited about tonight. Carolina and I have walked by those clubs so many times. We always wanted to go in. Are you sure they’ll let us in? I know they say all ages, but do they really mean all ages?” I jumped up and down again.

  “They’ll let us in if we look old enough.” Veronica looked over at Carolina. “We are going to have to do some work on you Caro.” She always called her Caro. I liked that name, it was seemed so casually chic, like a model in a magazine. Caro was definitely not Carolina.

  My mind wandered. I snapped back to the moment.

  “We have Champagne. I wanted to wait for you two before drinking it. I’ve never had it before.” I said Champagne instead of alcohol hoping that they would think that I had a great deal of experience with other drinks like Absinthe.

  “Carolina drank hers already.” I looked to her. She stared off into space.

  “Anymore for Caro and we won’t be able to get her out the door. Caro? Are you okay darling?" Veronica asked.

  “Yes I feel goooood,” She said in an otherworldly tone of voice.

  “Let’s drink, it’s been days since I last had Champagne,” Theodora said.

  I went to my vanity and poured the three glasses to the top. Bubbles popped up with a sizzling sound and spilled over the edges. I handed the drinks to the girls. They held up their cups.

  “Happy birthday Zelda” We clinked the glasses like I had seen in so many movies. It tasted sweet and dry. I liked it. It tickled my throat making me laugh.