Book Three_A Codependent Love Story Page 5

  “She’s more like Will Ferrell in Elf than a Goth. She eats sugar twenty-four hours a day, sings disco songs and dances around all the time. Obnoxious.” I instantly felt bad for trashing her and revealing our time together. “She’s not too bad. Just a little loud. She’s Carolina’s best friend. What am I going to do?”

  “But she’s hot right?” Brendan asked sarcastically. Danny didn’t get the joke being on him but it was clear from the expression on his face, that he didn’t want anyone to talk about her that way.

  “If you like baby Goths.” Brendan and I laughed, but Danny didn’t. Luckily Spencer and Adam walked in to save us from that uncomfortable moment.

  ...

  That day there were five of us playing, and the next day ten. By the end of the week, we had about fifteen hardcore players. We mostly played football but sometimes soccer. Brendan and I got a little intense with the aggression, not really following the game just bashing into people and taking them down. It was great but cost our team points so Danny switched out from the opposing team onto our team to keep us in line.

  We went to parties at night, fun parties. My advanced class friends had them all the time, but those were different, mostly video games and pizza. It had been fun, but this was better. These parties had girls sitting in groups trying to get our attention, with loud music. Some of the kids even danced. Danny and Brendan were “it” to the girls, and by being with them so was I. I had no plans of going back to my old life when school started. I knew my classes would be the same, but that didn’t mean I had to socialize with those kids.

  About a week into our epic endless sleepover, we were playing another game of football. By this point, we had cheerleaders. Brendan threw the ball across the field to Danny. He ran slowly backwards, his eye on the ball to catch it. Something in the road distracted him and caused him to look away. The ball hit him on the head. He fell down hard onto the grass, pulled himself up and took off running to the guesthouse.

  I looked out onto the street to see what had caught his eye. Zelda, the she-devil walked by, no longer wearing her “Goth” clothes. She wore a pink miniskirt and sweater that she had clearly outgrown as she trotted down the road with the wind blowing up her skirt. I decided she was purposely trying to ruin my life.

  “I was joking the other day when I asked if she was hot. When did that happen?” Brendan asked.

  “I don’t know. Should we go check on Danny? I’ve seen him take harder hits to the head.”

  “I don’t think you want to interrupt what he’s doing. Come on, let’s finish the game.”

  After the game, we found Danny and his mother in the small kitchen cooking dinner together. She was great, explaining the utensils and how the ingredients complimented each other, telling him it was very important that as man, Danny should be able to handle basic chores. It shouldn’t fall on to the women of his life.

  His father came home, and we had dinner around a table that was too small to accommodate all of us. I liked being crowded up to such a close family. It was all laughter and funny stories with them. They included me in their conversation, asking me about my family, and what I liked to do. Not one thinly veiled insult or challenge to anyone’s words. Brendan said something stupid about a local news story on rebuilding a landmark down on Sunset. He wasn’t shamed or even really corrected because it wasn’t a big deal.

  As we were getting dressed for the party up the street, Danny spoke in a way that he never would again. I didn’t know him well at this point, so I thought maybe that was the way he thought. It wasn’t, blame it on Zelda. She was a real nuisance that summer.

  “Hurry up,” he said as Brendan and I went through his clothes looking for something that would fit us. Danny at that time was a couple inches shorter than us. “We need to get to the party. I’m fucking horny. I’m calling all the blondes. You two can split up what’s left over.”

  “Fuck yeah,” I yelled out. The excitement of hearing such coarse words vitalized me. I don’t think I had ever even said "fuck" before that day, “We’ll be manly men. I call all the other girls. You can wait outside Brendan.”

  “Fucking manly men... Yes. I’ll stay outside. Everyone knows the hot ones are by the pool. You two stay inside with your indoor girls. I’ll be outside with the wild ones.” He ran his fingers through his snowflake white hair in preparation for our borderline predatory plans for the night, “We should keep a scorecard. A competition... the winner gets... I don’t know... victory.”

  “Okay guys, we’re not having a competition. I don’t want to end up on the news. Seriously Brendan, can’t you see how bad of an idea that is? With you and Serge and your destroy all attitude?” We walked out the front door and on to our field, “I just need to get something going on, you know?”

  That was more like Danny, girls and eventually women, other than Zelda, would be a game to him, but not in a hurtful way. He would have some weird rules, but they were in place to prevent harm.

  At the party, a group of girls jumped up to greet Brendan. This surprised me. I looked at him and tried to see him through their eyes. To me, he was the coolest person in the room, but what did they see in him? He had white hair that stuck up everywhere, ice blue eyes that looked too close set to be attractive to girls. His nose was great from being broken a few times, but I didn’t think they would see it that way. He had a weirdly heart shaped face.

  He looked Russian because he was in fact Russian. His parents had emigrated as teens and made a fortune in convenience stores that stretched out over the east side of the city. I figured it was his crooked smile that always looked up for trouble, or maybe they knew like Danny and me just how very cool he was. Either way, I decided those girls were better than the others, not that I made a move on any of them.

  My prey was sitting in the corner with a faraway look in her eyes. Her name was Anna The only thing I would learn about her that night or ever was a boy she liked didn’t return her feelings. What I learned about myself fills the pages of this book.

  I sat down next to the sad looking girl, introduced myself, and talked to her until she seemed a little more connected to her surroundings. Her interest in me increased as I made some jokes at the expense of Brendan and Danny and what we had been doing over the summer. I didn’t know where I was going with all of this. She was a pretty girl, long dark hair, hazel eyes, but not the hotness that Danny was making out with in the corner. That hotness being one of the worst people I had met at that point in my life, Liza. She was one of the girls who had made life so hard for my sister and her best friend.

  “Your hair and eyes are the same color, like coffee. I’ve never seen that before,” said the unhappiness that was Anna.

  “Do you want to go for a walk outside?” I instinctively knew that any talk of my eyes was interest from her.

  “I probably shouldn’t…I don’t want... Okay, let’s go for a walk.” I took her hand as we stood up from the sofa. I would have put my arm around her, but I sensed that would have been pushing it.

  “The reason I shouldn’t is that...” She told me the long-winded story about some guy I had never met. He had taken her to a movie and not spoken to her since. She worried he would show up to the party and get the wrong idea about us. I didn’t have to say much as we walked which was good because her story of unrequited love was ridiculous. Their big movie date had been three weeks before. He wasn’t interested in her. Move on, Anna. Still she carried on with stories of glances across rooms, which sounded to me like the poor guy looking for one of his friends.

  Back from our long walk through the canyon, we sat down on a bench in front of the house. She told me another story of a long look across the market when she was shopping with her mom. It was hard not to laugh. I didn’t because she was so sad, and I didn’t want her to feel bad no matter what the cause.

  She opened her mouth to tell me another story, so to stop it I kissed her. She liked it pulling me closer. I went with it lowering her on to the bench, still kissing her,
until I was almost on top of her.

  The kissing went on so long that my mind drifted to other things like the deadline on my physics project, the girls and their craziness, Zelda’s breast popping out of her top. Thinking about Zelda put the excitement back into my epic make out session.

  Anna held on to me tightly as I pulled her back up to a sitting position. I put my hand on her chest over her shirt. It felt good but not great. I knew my hand belonged under her shirt. I was fearless. I put my hand under her top as my heart pounded. She kissed me deeper.

  I had been fondling her chest for a long time. I thought about where else I could touch her. My hand drifted downward slowly until it hit the top of her jeans. I hesitated for a moment and down into her pants it went. That’s when I realized I didn’t know what I was doing, or what I wanted from her. I left my hand there but didn’t move it around or touch anything beyond the waistband of her underwear.

  “Hey Serge, it’s time to get home. We’re past curfew,” Danny said.

  I sat up quickly, pulling my hand out of her pants in the process. She had a big smile on her face. I had cured the melancholy Anna of her misery. I felt pretty good about that.

  “Thank you, Serge.” She got up from our bench and walked back into the party. She thanked me? It would take me a few days to figure it out.

  “You move fast,” Danny held his hand up for a high five. I gave him a hard slap.

  “Where’s Brendan?” I was pretty excited about Danny’s approval of my limited technique.

  “He thought it would be funny to play two girls off each. They’re both crying now. He’s trying to fix it. We need to get home. He can sneak in later.”

  “Fucking cool,” I picked up a large rock from the road and threw it onto the ground as hard as I could, shattering it.

  “You always seemed so mellow before,” He looked a little shocked as he glanced my way, “Something going on? We don’t need two Brendan’s in this world.”

  I knew he was right. Aggression on the field was a good thing, but it was spilling over into every moment of my life.

  “You and Brendan are feeding off each other...”

  “Sister problems at home. You’re right. I’ll pull it together.” I almost wanted to talk to him about it. “Zelda...” I stopped myself.

  “What about her?”

  “Nothing. What about Liza? Isn’t she... awful?” It baffled me he could spend time with someone who had been so awful to the object of his obsession.

  “Most people think she’s hot,” he laughed, “She’s not so bad anymore. I’m not into her or anything at all... Nobody’s going to hurt Zelda when I’m around.” He said that last part in a way that made me think he didn’t know he was saying it out loud.

  I was pumped from the excitement of the week and especially the night. I thought of Anna as we entered his house. It had been wild seeing how far I could go in our time together. I had cured her of her despair. I couldn’t figure out what felt better, her boobs or her improved well being. I knew I didn’t want to see her again necessarily, and I didn’t think she was pining away for me the way she did with her elusive movie date. I was on to something.

  The night was warm, and I had to finish the essay I had put aside for my week of restoration. I stripped down to my boxers, grabbed my book bag and went into the bathroom to work on my project as Danny fell asleep.

  I read it over. The information was solid. I knew I was top tier but being top tier didn’t mean I was going to win. There were other kids who were the cream of the crop, not many, but they were out there doing their research in Omaha or Santa Fe working just as hard as I had been. I needed an edge. I rewrote the whole thing in a fugue state like Zelda had been in the week before. I turned it into a story of the time the universe had grown. The essay now had the facts and a narrative that flowed. As the sun rose, I clicked submit. I knew I was going to win.

  I woke up on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. The day was already hot, the coolness of the tile floor refreshing. Victory, the word Brendan used all the time was what I felt as I stood up and looked in the mirror. I saw I was covered in pen marks and started laughing. Penises had been drawn around my mouth, on my chest was a crude drawing of a battleship, and my legs were covered in scribble scrabble.

  I knew I was supposed to be mad and walk out of the bathroom I had so innocently fallen asleep in angry. I couldn’t do that. The marks on my body meant that we were solid. I didn’t even want to wash it off.

  “It’s noon. We’ve been waiting for you all morning. Why did you sleep in the bathroom?" Danny asked.

  “Forget that. How can someone as scrawny as you kick ass? We need to get some food in you, Serge. Go wash your face and we’ll get lunch... I thought you would come out and beat us down. Why are you so happy?” Brendan asked.

  “I’m a manly man.” I beat my chest that was thin but not scrawny. I wasn’t much bigger than the now skinny with curves Zelda, but I always had wiry muscles covering my bones. “I don’t play gladiator games with boys.” I threw on a pair of shorts.

  “You’re not going downstairs with dicks on your face.” Danny laughed.

  “What did I just say? I’m a man. Men can do anything they want.”

  “Uhhhh no.” Brendan jumped up and pounced on me, holding me down. “Danny, get something to clean his face off with.” I tried to squirm out from under his wrestling hold, but I was laughing too hard to gain any traction. Danny sprung up to the bathroom and came back with a towel wet with water and soap and scrubbed my face.

  ...

  We were golden. The month went on with the games out front, and parties at night. I had my project out of the way, and Carolina and Zelda were out of my mind. I tested my sad girl theory. It worked. A couple of times I got stuck in long conversations with ones who had zero interest in me, but that was rare. One girl was unhappy her father drank all the time. That was a conversation I couldn’t have, no matter how unhappy she was. I told her I had a headache and walked back to Danny’s house by myself.

  If Brendan was keeping track, and I was pretty sure he was in his head at least, I would have come out on top. Liza had sidetracked Danny to his great regret. She was a borderline stalker, following him around from party to party. I could see he didn’t like her, but he kept falling back into her. My way had the least complications and most variety. I tried to explain it to Danny and Brendan but they didn’t get it.

  August arrived and Danny’s older brother came back from Mexico. Brendan and I went back to sleeping at our homes, but in the morning we would head down to Danny’s house. They didn’t have any plans to do the homework our teachers had sent us home with for the summer. That shocked me. The highest grade you could get in the classes would have been a B without it. I set them straight and taught them how to study correctly. They had lazy habits that stretched the work out all night.

  Carolina and Zelda had moved on to Zelda’s house for the most part by the time I came home. If I saw them I would shout out hello or good-bye to them, and that would be it. I had forgiven them for their insanity, but at the same time I didn’t want to spend much time with them anymore. The fun was down the road at Danny’s. Zelda looked as if she wanted to say something to me but never did. I figured it was an apology. It wasn’t needed or wanted, she was just a kid. I wasn’t mad at her anymore anyway.

  My birthday was at the end of August just a few days before Zelda’s. I spent it with Brendan and Danny at a party a couple canyons over from ours. I had my eye out for a teary eyed girl but didn’t spot one. Instead a cute blond girl approached me, flipping her hair around and smiling.

  Danny had called all the blondes and to tell you the truth, I didn’t have any experience with girls moving in on me. I didn’t even know if I wanted them too. I liked the sad girls that went away satisfied, not needing further contact and if I saw them around they were always friendly. Danny and Brendan always had all these girls who were always mad at them.

  She talked a lot the way my
melancholy babes would, but I didn’t pay attention. My disinterest made her more persistent. She pulled me outside to a lounge by the pool, climbed onto my lap and started kissing me. Her aggressiveness made me uncomfortable.

  “Why are you doing this? I don’t even know your name,” I asked the nameless girl.

  “I told you my name,” she laughed, “It’s Cara. I start high school next week. I don’t want to go into it a virgin. You have such soulful eyes...”

  “I have a girlfriend,” I lied wanting to be away from her.

  “Oh,” she sounded a little embarrassed. “Then why did you come outside with me?”

  “I drank too much.” I hadn’t had anything to drink because Danny, Brendan and I didn’t drink. “I have someone that can help you with your problem. Come with me.”

  I moved her off my lap and led her to Brendan who was in the kitchen.

  “Brendan meet Cara. Cara meet Brendan. She needs help with a problem she’s having...” I put their hands together and went to find Danny so we could walk home.