Esme and the Money Grab: (A Very Dark Romantic Comedy) Read online

Three days later Faye sat in the spacious waiting room of Serge Richmond. She had met the lawyer a few years before at a party for her oldest and best friend, Cassandra, who had been dating him. They had long since broken up and in the intervening years Serge had changed his specialty from Corporate Law to Personal Injury. She knew her immediate needs would have been better served from a lawyer who specialized in corporations but she trusted him and he did have the previous experience.

  “Ms. Petrov,” He opened the door to the waiting room and held out his hand, “It’s been a long time. Come this way.”

  The rumbling in her stomach that had been constant since winning the lottery subsided for a moment and her heart skipped a beat as she felt her face flush, “Please call me Faye.” She held back a giggle and followed him down the hallway.

  “So… You’re looking for a lottery attorney? You spoke so quickly in your voicemail,” He ran his fingers through his inky black hair as he sat down in the chair behind his desk. Faye swooned, and the giggle escaped her lips.

  “I do not specialize in “lottery law” and if anyone approaches you suggesting that is what they do… I suggest you run very far away.” An amused expression passed over his face as he saw her laughing in the chair across the table from him.

  “I’m sorry… I’m laughing because… Never mind. My emotions are so extreme these past few days, with the lottery and I just quit smoking… My husband snores and I want to slap him, he says good morning and it’s as if we’ve just met for the first time and we’re in love all over again.” She sensed she was babbling and took a deep breath and stared out the floor to ceiling windows onto cityscape of downtown Los Angeles to regain her equilibrium.

  “Well… Don’t slap him. I’m not a criminal defense attorney either.”

  She turned back to him and saw he was just a very handsome man who she planned to hire for legal help and felt much better. A crush would only confuse her newfound life change. She did not want that kind of nuisance in her life.

  “I would never do that,” She smiled, sighed lightly and dug through her oversized handbag to retrieve a pad of paper, “I’ve won the lottery. I need help with… hiding… no, not hiding, withholding that information.”

  “You’re leaving your husband? You won’t be able to hide it. Best to split it, go on your merry way. These things can get ugly.”

  “No, no, no… I would never do that. I just need time to organize it. My husband is… not good with money. I don’t want this to destroy our lives. I’ve read so many stories… Hookers, guns, drugs… I don’t want our lives to end that way.”

  “No I don’t suppose anyone would want to go down in a blaze of gunfire,” He laughed and the swooning feeling returned for a moment, “You know it doesn’t have to be that way? The media only reports on the sensational stories. Many people do fine with their winnings.”

  “We will be fine with it but I need a year of privacy to arrange that.”

  “That makes sense but have you considered how your husband will feel about this deception at the end of the year?”

  “Truthfully? No. But I have time to figure it out.”

  He stared at her, all humor gone from his face. Faye felt as if he were staring into her soul. She looked down at the hastily written figures on her pad of paper.

  “How about six weeks to figure it out? I did some research last night, and that’s how long it takes to process your claim before the money is given to you. You said you want to take the lump sum?”

  “Yes I do. I don’t need this problem popping up annually.”

  “Problem?” Amusement filled his eyes again, “I suppose it’s good that you’re taking this seriously. Okay…Thirty-eight million? After taxes and you’ll be very happy to know that those are taken out immediately, you’ll have 18,920,000 millions dollars.”

  “Oh good, I worried it was more.” She held up her pad of paper, “I lost track of all the numbers.”

  “I see that,” He reached across the table and took the pad from her hands and looked at it for no more than five seconds. “Let me see… 40,000 yearly for each of your daughters, lump sum of 500,000 for each when they’re forty, 1.8 million for a house, two million savings…” He looked up quizzically, “You plan to give your husband a gift of 100,000 at the end of the year? You really need to think this through.”

  “Why? That’s a lot of money. I think it’s rather nice that I’m gifting him at all. He’s only going to lose it.”

  “It is a lot of money but the original amount is thirty-eight million.” He stared at her in the soul searching way again, “I want you to put some thought into this over the next six weeks. I say this as a friend, not as a lawyer.”

  “You think of me as a friend?” She felt sure hearts were shooting from her eyes. She blinked the giddiness away.

  “Yes,” He leaned back in his chair, “A very attractive friend… your hair is a blinding halo of gold, your eyes have the depth of the sea but I only think of you as a friend and a client.” He tapped his fingers on his desk, “So you’re going to have to stop looking at me like that. I understand that you’re going through a big emotional upheaval right now but you’re going to have to stay on track. It’s not a good time to act on your impulses… You’re vulnerable. People will want things from you in the coming months. Their motives won’t always be pure.”

  “Do you really think my hair is a halo of gold?” She was surprised by her lack of embarrassment, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m behaving this way. I can assure you that I’ve been faithfully married for well over twenty years and I have no plans to change that.” She laughed in spite of wanting to take a serious tone, “Thank you for understanding my current state of mind. I plan to stay cautious… Back to the business at hand—

  “Your privacy issues? Before we get to that I need to make you aware of the need for a financial advisor. I know from your message that you plan to give most of the money away but what remains requires a plan. Do you have one in mind?”

  “I know a few socially but again I would like to keep this issue away from the people in my life. I was hoping you would have a suggestion.”

  “Laura,” He pressed a button on his phone and spoke into the intercom, “Please pull up Gwendolyn Stark’s contact information for Ms. Petrov.”

  “Okay… settled. Unfortunately the lottery requires a name, address and social security number in California. You can deposit the money into a corporation, and it’s best for you to do that but the basic information will be made public. I have a call into Sacramento regarding the photo with the oversized check you were worried about in your message.”

  “Maybe I shouldn’t claim it… No good can come from this.” She muttered to herself.

  “You give up too easily. As I stated, I’ve done some research. There’s only one Faye Petrov on Earth and that would be you. What is your maiden name?”

  “Smith.”

  “Perfect, I worried it would be an equally unique name. We have time to legally change it back. The ticket has six months to be claimed.”

  “I never legally changed my name. It wasn’t required when I married Adam. You could just go to the DMV and write in your new married name. After 9/11 the rules changed. They insisted I go to Social Security to legally change it when I went in to renew my license. The line was too long, so I never did it. Everyone knows me as Faye Petrov and it’s printed on all of my credit cards but I’m legally Faye Smith.”

  “Laziness pays off,” He laughed, and she refrained from melting into her a chair, “Here’s what you need to do… Set up residency elsewhere. Rent an apartment, arrange for the utilities and especially phone service to the name Faye Smith. Change the address on your drivers license to my office’s address, do not link it to your real home or the apartment. If somebody wants to find you they will, but it’s not one of the huge wins that attract an overabundance of attention. You should be okay.”

  “About the corporation, I already have one for my business… Oh never
mind that is firmly attached to my married name. My studio as a residence wouldn’t work either for the same reason.”

  “Also the corporation for your winnings will serve a completely different purpose. You wouldn’t want to co-mingle them. Another thing, your home, bills… are those attached to your name? If they are you will have to change that too. Put them in your husbands name.”

  “Those are all under Adam’s name…”

  “Good work, a bit old fashioned but saves you time. How long do you think it will take you to set up your duplicate self? The corporation papers shouldn’t take more than a week.”

  “Let me see,” She opened her handbag, took out her phone and selected the calendar app, “The girls come home for Thanksgiving in ten days. Maybe a week from now? Next Monday?”

  “Is that enough time for you? It usually takes a week to get an appointment with the DMV. Do you have access to enough money for the deposit on the apartment?”

  “I’ll just go wait in line at the DMV after I leave here. I have a book in my bag to pass the time.” She held up her purse that was as large as a briefcase. “And I have a hidden savings account I can draw on for the apartment and utility deposits.”

  “Beautiful workmanship on the bag. I remember Cassandra saying you worked with leather.” He stood up from behind the desk, “Hidden savings? Have you always been so secretive with your husband?”

  “It’s not a secret, more self-preservation,” She shook the thought from her head, “And thank you, I do love my work.”

  “I know you’re worried about your family and your husband finding out but if I were you I would consider the strangers that may find you and make pleas for your money. Most of them will be frauds but a few will have stories that will break your heart.” He held open the door for her.

  “I don’t plan on having the money for more than a year as you well know. But thank you, I will keep that in mind.”

  “Why don’t you just donate it all in one swoop if you’re so worried about the effect it will have on the lives of those around you?”

  “I want to make a difference.”

  “You would be making a difference.” They reached the door to the waiting room and stood stiffly in front of each other.

  “I know.”

  “Okay,” He nodded his head as if he understood, “Call Laura to set up a time for Monday and we’ll go to the lottery office together.” He held out his hand signaling their appointment was over.

  She leaned in close as he shook her hand, a last blast of giddiness rushed through her, “You never answered my question, is my hair really a halo of gold?”

  “Yes it is,” His voice was barely above a whisper, “And your body is carved from the same stone as the Greek Goddesses. Can we let this go now?”

  “Yes… but one more question. Do you speak to all the women this way?”

  “Not all of them,” He laughed and turned towards his office, “See you on Monday Ms. Petrov. The lottery office is in the Valley. We’ll turn in the ticket… It takes six weeks for them to process it. You should have your money in the first week of January. My assistant Laura will be joining us.”

  “Faye, please call me Faye.” She left his office with a laugh not much different than his and felt free from the pressures of the ill won money for the first time since hearing the cursed numbers.

  Chapter Five

  “…And they pulled us off the train.” Adam leaned back into his chair and viciously shook his head as if reliving the moment.

  “And your father screamed out, you’ll never take us alive back to the sirotiste, as if he were the star of one of the American films we watched at the group home.” Adam’s brother, Dario, held up his glass to the table, crowded with the enraptured audience of Faye and Adam’s family and friends.

  “Sirotiste? Group home? It was a prison.” Adam interjected as his eyes met Faye’s.

  “But they did take you alive…” Faye added gently. She had always thought the story of how her husband had come to America was too much for the children to hear, “And we found our way to each other, now we have a beautiful family, and our girls are so grown.” She held up her glass of wine to Dario’s, “And that is what I’m most thankful for this Thanksgiving.”

  “Your husband was right to a certain extent,” Dario clinked his glass with hers, “The Catholic Society had us on a plane the next day to Los Angeles. The family they placed us with wasn’t as promised,” Dario solemnly glanced at Adam, “And your husband didn’t get to live out his dream of being the next Bruce Springsteen but we did avoid the Serbian war, and we have a better life here than ever would have back in Croatia. That is what I’m thankful for.”

  “I’m thankful for my boots.” Faye and Adam’s eldest daughter, Anja, held up her long lean leg to the table to show her thigh-high silver snakeskin boots.

  Faye pushed her daughter’s leg down as a wave of nausea ran through her body. The jokes from her family about her recent generosity, and her false explanation of the windfall of money from a big sale to Bergdorfs made her uncomfortable. She wasn’t used to being dishonest.

  “I’m only going to be grateful if we go to Croatia this summer,” Faye and Adam’s youngest daughter, Ines, crossed her arms and said with an exaggerated pout, “I’ll be nineteen soon and I’ve never been to my fatherland. I want to see the trains you and Uncle Dario snuck on. I want to run through the fields the two of you ran through…”

  “We were running away, something you’ve never and will never have to do,” Adam reached across the table and ran his hand against his daughter’s cheek, “Do you want to know what I’m thankful for? Your mother… Her patience with me, and for giving me two beautiful daughters.” Adam’s eyes met his wife’s and the butterflies she had felt upon first meeting him returned to her heart.

  “Adam…” Faye sighed and opened her mouth to tell him the truth of her good or cursed fortune. A high-spirited ringtone rang from his phone, destroying the moment. Faye leaned back in her chair and looked away.

  “Well…” Cassandra threw her napkin on the table and ruefully shook her head. She was as familiar with Adam’s changing ringtones as Faye was. They had been friends since they were young girls, and there were no secrets between the two of them, “I’m thankful for the beautiful dinner all of you prepared. In fact I’m stuffed, and will fall asleep if I don’t get up right now.” She turned to Faye, “Let me help you clean up.”

  “I’ll be back…” Adam's face filled with a glow and he left the table, a shamble in his stride.

  “Thank you…” Faye unsteadily stood up.

  “Shall I help?” Dario stood up and rubbed his thick hand against his full stomach. Faye stared at her brother-in-law, unable to reply.

  She wondered how two brothers could be so different in every way. Adam was tall and broad, a lightening strike of virility ran through him. Dario was small, his shoulders slightly hunched. Both were handsome, but Adam was fierce with his dark and swarthy good looks.

  They were both loyal and kind but Adam had a streak of devilishness, always taking chances. Faye knew the quality had come from savagely protecting his younger brother when their mother had abandoned them as children in Croatia. She could never hold Adam’s infidelities or rash spending against him. Still, those qualities did make her life harder, and his scampering out of the dining room to take a call from a woman Faye was sure was not much older than their daughters only strengthened her resolve to keep her financial plan hidden.

  “We’re fine, Dario,” Cassandra spoke for her friend, “Stay with the girls, tell them the stories they want to hear. That’s as close to Croatia as they’ll probably ever get, if Adam has anything to do with it…” Cassandra gently laughed, stood up next to her friend, took her hand and led her to the kitchen.

  “Tell us about the time you ran away to Dubrovnik,” Ines excitedly demanded.

  “We did that several times,” Dario laughed.

  “But did you ever make it there? To the beac
h?” Anja asked

  “No…” Dario replied as Faye and Cassandra closed the dining room door.

  …

  “Are you okay?” Cassandra asked as she picked up the roasting pan from the stove and carried it to the sink, “I can’t believe he did that… Why does he always give them such zingy ringtones? Doesn’t he know that gives him away?”

  “The ringtones…” Faye sat down at the small, round breakfast table and picked up a folded napkin and refolded it, “I’m fine, I knew what I was getting into the day I met him… Classic attachment disorder… I feel like I could write a book about it at this point... He’ll always pushes me away as he pulls me closer. He’s never been that way with the girls though, perfect father.” She threw the carefully refolded napkin down.

  “Anyway, that’s not important…” Faye continued, “Same old story… My money plan however, is working out perfectly. Serge is brilliant, and so attractive… Thank you for referring him to me… I was so silly in his office and when we went to the Valley to turn in the ticket, behaving like a little flirt. My emotions have been all over the place since I won… It feels like a curse, but I’m not going to let it be one. And the cigarette cravings haven’t helped either…”

  “You’re still off of them? That’s great! You know what would take your mind off of all of it? Having an affair with Serge,” Cassandra turned off the water and turned to face her friend. “Two birds with one stone. Get back at Adam and have a little fun for yourself.”

  “I could never do that,” She picked up the napkin again and twisted it in her hands, “I wouldn’t even want to do that. Adam and I are happy. It’s a different relationship than I ever imagined I would have, but it works and I do love him.”

  “He does have that enchanting European charm… Okay, tell me about your plan. How’s it going to work if you keep buying gifts for Anja and Ines? I know how much the leopard coat you bought for Ines cost. Bergdorf’s would have to fill their main floor with your handbags to allow you to afford that.” Cassandra laughed and sat down at the table beside Faye.